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By the time most parents call me, they have already tried everything they know.
You have adjusted the schedule, taken things away and given them back, had the calm conversation and the less calm one. Some of it worked for a week. Meanwhile the teacher says s/he is fine at school, the pediatrician said keep an eye on it, and you are still standing outside a closed door at eleven at night wondering what you are missing.
Families usually come to me with something like this:
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Mornings have turned into a fight, and school refusal has gone from occasional to routine.
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The worrying is constant, and reassurance stopped helping a while ago.
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S/He has pulled away from friends, activities, and most of the things s/ he used to like.
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There are rituals or rules that have to be followed exactly, or nothing is ever good enough, including her own work.
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S/He started pulling out their hair and/or eyebrows.
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You have started using the phrase emotional dysregulation because it is the closest thing you have found to what you are watching.
Roughly four out of five of the young clients I see are dealing with anxiety, depression, or both. It rarely announces itself. It usually looks like avoidance, irritability, or a kid who has quietly stopped trying.
35+
Years in the mental health field
20
Years in private practice in Westport
CT + NY
Licensed in Connecticut and New York
AGES 6–18
School-age children through teens
HOW I WORK WITH KIDS AND TEENS
Structure, plain language, and something to actually do.
I work primarily from a cognitive behavioral therapy approach, which in practice means sessions have direction. I teach kids about their thinking patterns and how their thoughts cause their feelings and behavior. Most importantly, I teach kids how to correct negative thinking patterns to improve their mood and ultimately positively impact their actions. We name the specific thing that is hard, we work on it, and your child leaves with something concrete to try before the next visit.
I explain anxiety to an eight-year-old differently than I explain it to a fifteen-year-old. Both of them get a real explanation.
That explanation matters more than people expect. A child who understands what their brain is doing stops being frightened of their own reactions. Parents get the same explanation, so you are not guessing at home.
From there we build skills. Facing the avoided thing in steps small enough to succeed at. Catching the thought that starts the spiral. Getting back to the friends, the team, the classroom. Progress you can see from the kitchen, not just progress I report to you.
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Where you fit in
I keep parents informed and involved at whatever level is right for your child’s age, and I will tell you plainly what I am seeing. When it helps, I coordinate with your pediatrician, the school, or a specialist. Knowing who else should be at the table is part of the job.
If you want support for yourself as well, see Parent Support & Guidance →
Progress shows up at home before it shows up anywhere else.
A morning that does not start with a fight. A kid who goes to the thing instead of finding a reason not to. A sentence about how she is feeling that you did not have to pull out of her. Homework that gets done without three hours of dread first.
Underneath that, the durable part is confidence. Kids who understand their own anxiety and have tools for it carry that forward. And when something new comes up in a year or five, the door stays open. A lot of the young adults I work with started with me when they were much younger.
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ABOUT JENNIFER BRENNAN, LCSW
I’ve spent my career helping families make sense of what they’re seeing.
I’m a licensed clinical social worker in Connecticut and New York, and I’ve spent my career working with anxious and struggling kids, teens, and their families. My approach is practical, collaborative, and focused on helping children better understand what they’re experiencing while giving them tools they can actually use outside the therapy room. I also work closely with parents so you know what I’m seeing, how your child is progressing, and how you can support that progress at home.
My office is in Westport, CT, in Fairfield County, and most of the families I see come from Weston, Westport, Norwalk, Fairfield, Greenwich, Trumbull, Stamford, and Westchester County, NY.
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