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At some point, the things that usually worked stopped working.
You handled the newborn stretch and the toddler years. You had a playbook and it worked, and then your child is having trouble in elementary or middle school or somewhere around twelve or fifteen, the playbook stopped working entirely and nothing replaced it. What used to be a consequence is now a standoff. What used to be a conversation is now a closed door.
So you go looking for a straight answer and get a hundred conflicting ones. Every teenager is like that. No, that is a red flag. It is the phone. It is the school. It is normal, mostly. Give it time. Do not wait.
You have already gotten a hundred opinions. What you need is someone who has seen a few hundred versions of this to tell you which one you are looking at.
Underneath the question about your child there is usually a second one you are less likely to say out loud, which is whether you are handling this well. Whether you are too involved or not involved enough. That question is worth taking seriously too.
35+
Years in the mental health field
20
Years in private practice in Westport
CT + NY
Licensed in Connecticut and New York
Virtual sessions available
WHAT WE WORK ON
Sorting it out, then knowing what to do about it.
Parent guidance is about making sense of what you’re seeing and knowing what to do next. These are some of the places we usually begin.
Is this a stage or is it more than that?
This is where we usually start, and I will not answer it before I know enough to answer it honestly. Some of what you are seeing may be ordinary development doing exactly what it should, uncomfortably. Some of it may not be. Sorting that out is the work, and where a formal assessment would help, I can do that as well. As a licensed clinical social worker in Connecticut and New York, I can evaluate and diagnose.
Parenting the child you have now
What works with a seven-year-old does not work with a seventeen-year-old, and nobody tells you when to switch. With older kids, it may feel like losing ground at first. We work on what that looks like in your house, including how to hold a limit without it becoming a war.
Navigating a system nobody explained to you
I have watched capable, well-resourced parents lose months working out who to call. What a 504 plan does and how it differs from an IEP. Whether the pediatrician is enough. What a neuropsychological evaluation is for. Which specialists matter and which are a detour. This is the part parents tell me they could not have done alone.
Is my child neurodivergent
A question I hear and one that deserves a careful answer. I work with a lot of neurodivergent kids. Sometimes what a parent describes fits that picture, and sometimes it is anxiety wearing a similar shape. If a formal evaluation is the right next step, I will tell you and help you get there.
When you and your partner disagree
One of you thinks it is serious and one of you thinks it is a phase. It is exhausting, and it usually means your child is getting two different responses to the same behavior. We work on getting you aligned enough to be consistent.
WHAT WE WORK ON
Understanding what’s happening with your child and how you can best help.
Raising children can be one of the most rewarding yet challenging experiences a parent will ever face. Parenting requires love, patience, energy and adaptability, as every stage of a child’s life presents new obstacles ranging from sleepless nights with small children to navigating emotional outbursts and teenage/young adult independence. Jennifer helps parents identify what their child needs and how best to support them. The solution may be a course of CBT and often that is enough.
Very few parents arrive hoping to put their child on medication. Most arrive hoping to avoid it, and worried that asking the question at all commits them to something. It does not.
I cannot prescribe. What I can do is help you think it through without pressure in either direction. In most cases we try a course of therapy first and see what it does. If medication becomes worth considering, I will say so plainly and coordinate with your pediatrician or a specialist. If you decide against it, that decision gets respected and we keep working.
WHAT CHANGES
You stop guessing.
The most common thing parents tell me is that the second-guessing quiets down. You know what you are looking at. You know what your next move is, and why, and what you are watching for that would change it. The house is calmer mostly because you are.
And when the next stage arrives, because it will, you are not starting over. Parenting does not stop being hard at eighteen. Plenty of the parents I work with come back when their young adult moves home, or does not, or experiences something neither of you saw coming.
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ABOUT JENNIFER BRENNAN, LCSW
Helping families find clarity when the answers aren’t simple.
I’m a licensed clinical social worker in Connecticut and New York, and I have spent my career working on the child and adolescent side of the mental health system. Over the years, I have worked with children, teens, young adults, and their parents through anxiety, behavioral changes, school concerns, family transitions, and the many moments when a parent simply knows something feels off.
That experience means I can help you make sense of what you are seeing and understand what the next step actually is. Sometimes that means therapy. Sometimes it means working with a school, pediatrician, evaluator, or another specialist. Part of my job is helping families understand how those pieces fit together so you are not left trying to navigate the system on your own.
I’m also the parent of young adults, so I understand that parenting does not suddenly become simple when your child gets older. The questions change, but the need for perspective and support does not.
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